So I’ve decided to keep a blog, again. The idea’s toggled on and off on my mind for the past 7-ish years, sometimes manifested into short-lived sites which I timidly mentioned to people, only to abruptly shut down only days after. Funnily enough, looking back, I was very outspoken as a teen, leaving online footprints all over the internet, enough that my partner (then potential boyfriend) could stalk me when we first knew each other. What changed me into the scaredy cat I am now, was probably a series of being scrutinized, gossiped about, and laughed at, by my ex-best-friend and his friends, by my ex’s ex, and god knows who else whose humiliating comments I didn’t happen to find out about.
I learned then how courageous writers are, to lay their heart out for everyone to see (or read) and not know what kind of feedback they may get back, either in front of their face, or not. I got scared. Even when I was not that well-known, even though the people who laughed about the stuff I wrote about were only dozens, I got crushed. And like crushed things do, I became smaller - or rather, my self-esteem did. I no longer had the naive audacity to put myself out in the open. You don’t have to be scared if you’re not even there, sort of thing.
So this blog may be one of my many attempts to stand up to myself. It’s not a statement, a declaration, or anything with symbolic, or hidden meaning. It’s just that I want to write, and I want to show people things I think about. Maybe I’ll shut it down again, crawling back into my safe shell of anonymity. Or maybe I’ll concede that it’s all in my head, even as my anxiety tries desperately to convince me otherwise.
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Anyway - this blog post is for recounting all the books I have read in January 2020. On the last day of 2019, I made some new year goals for 2020, one of which is to read at least 15 minutes daily, and I’ve kept up so far.
15 minutes of reading a day is not a lot, but you will be amazed at how long you’d have gone if you keep it up daily. (That’s also the theme of my other goals, but I’d share them maybe some other day) Most of these books I got from Libby - an app that lets you borrow ebook from your local library. I found myself going through books more efficiently this way, as Libby gives you a deadline to return books, and sometimes I only started reading something because the deadline was almost up lol. With paper books, I tend to procrastinate, thinking, “ah, it’ll always be there. I can read whenever”.
I tried to alternate between heavy and light reads, so after finishing a heavy book (philosophical, depressing, long, science, etc), I’d start on a lighter one (comic, humour, fantasy, fiction, etc), to give my mind some breathing room.
List of books I’ve finished reading during January 2020, with a short review of each:
The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living: A Guide to ACT- Harris Russ: 4/5 - a delightful read, although I skimmed through some parts, as I found myself already doing most of what he was talking about already.
Day of the Dragon (WarCraft, #1) - Richard Knaak: 4/5 - I made a mistake reading this first, before the other novels. Don’t know what guide I was following, but I missed the story of the aspects, and all the stuff inbetween… Ah well. A novel that I didn’t want to put down, the writing constantly kept me on my toes (or eyes? Lol), and characters each, and all, exuded their unique marks on the story. The ending was a bit of a let down, in a Disney everyone-is-happy-and-all-is-well kind of way.
Outliers: The Story of Success - Malcolm Gladwell - 5/5. I am a fangirl of Malcolm Gladwell. As quoted loosely someone from the book (that I forgot the name of :( ), a good writer doesn’t make himself a genius, a good writer makes the reader feel like he’s a genius.
The Art of Rick and Morty - Justin Roiland - 5/5. Again, I’m an unapologetically fangirl of Rick and Morty.
Adulthood Is a Myth (Sarah's Scribbles, #1) - Sarah Andersen - 2.5/5. Eh. Meh.
Wisdom from the World According to Mister Rogers: Important Things to Remember - Fred Rogers - 4/5. I bought this online, thinking it was the full version, but nope… I read bits and pieces of the full version from the bookshelf at an airbnb I stayed one time, and it resonated with me so strongly, that I wanted to buy it myself - but yeah…. I’ll get the full one sometime.
Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind - Yuval Noah Harari - 4.5/5. A lot of carefully researched, referenced, and speculated knowledge, and I appreciate the honesty about things science don’t know yet. 4.5 because I felt it dragged on at times, to prove the writer’s point.
Big Mushy Happy Lump (Sarah's Scribbles, #2) - Sarah Andersen - 3/5. Again, meh.
Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert - 2/5. I picked this up because I wanted to know what all the hype was about. I got through 1/3 of the book and felt irritated, but couldn’t really put into words why. I then went and read some reviews, and it dawned on me: The writer, and her storytelling, are so….. simple-minded. As in….. ignorantly simple-minded. I felt like she painted herself to be the victim, while only brushed through the other side(s) of the story. I felt… tired, reading her ongoing rambling, like listening to someone venting about their life while secretly eye rolling and thinking to yourself “god, what a drama queen”. Giving it 2* because of the travelling knowledge to places I haven’t been. (I realized I read it like a very long user review of a travelling tour lol)
Batman: The Killing Joke - Alan Moore - 5/5. I’ve read it once, years ago, and re-reading it now still evoked the same feelings as before. That is, awe, reflection, and quiet remorse to humanity, and humanity loss.
Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed - Lori Gottlieb - 5/5. Such a kind and emotional book. I teared up at some part over a character’s… life events (no spoiler), which I rarely ever do. So much insights and reflection on the psychology of human, and of the scene of psychotherapy. I recommend everyone giving this a read, whether you have been in therapy or not (but especially if you have been in therapy).
Astrophysics for People in a Hurry - Neil deGrasse Tyson - 5/5. How the writer crammed so much knowledge into such a small book is already an applaud-worthy feat within itself. I got so inspired after reading this that I started looking into stargazing lol.
The Myth of Sisyphus - Albert Camus - 5/5. I’ve procrastinated on this book since last year, and happy to finally tick it off the list. A good read if you’re interested in the philosophy of suicide, and the ever ongoing debate about the meaning of life.
How to Relax - Thich Nhat Hanh - 3/5. If you’re into meditation, then this book is probably good for you. It’s good, but not useful to me personally. The most useful thing I took away was, I can be/am already meditating, even when I am not consciously doing so - and I am glad for that speculation.